How To Cope With Anxiety | Fleurish Collective

This post is all about how cope with anxiety.

Anxiety is something that everyone experiences at times. And to be honest, it’s something that I believe is often misunderstood. While this post is not a replacement for therapy, I’m going to walk you through some basic psycho-education of anxiety.

Here’s what you will learn in this post:

How to recognize the symptoms of anxiety
Skills for coping with anxiety
Tips for coping with stress and anxiety around the holidays

If examining this for yourself feels too daunting, know that it is okay to seek professional support. I offer virtual counselling services to Canadian women and would love to connect with you via a complimentary discovery call if you think that type of support would be beneficial.

Click Here To Book A Counselling Discovery Call With Me

If you’re interested in reading some other posts with a mental health focus, check these ones out:

What Anxiety Means

In my work with clients, I often describe the experience of anxiety as being similar to a smoke detector. The “job” of anxiety is to let us know when our bodies and minds are feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated, and stressed.

In our society of hustle and striving, pushing through discomfort is often glamorized to the point where many of us stop listening to our bodies and the messages it is sending us. As a result of this, anxiety can get louder to cut through the noise.

Some common symptoms of anxiety are:

feelings of overwhelm and dread
feeling overstimulated (mentally and/or physically
exhaustion
difficulty falling or staying asleep
overthinking/racing thoughts
irritability
difficulty focusing
low motivation
heightened emotions
difficulty with digestion and other stomach issues
headaches and tension in the body
panic attacks

I want to encourage you to make a list of what symptoms of anxiety are generally present for you. You can reference the list above or it might look and feel like something else entirely. When we begin to notice and tune in to our physical and emotional experiences, we can then prioritize responding to them in a way that is supportive and regulating.

There are many factors that contribute to anxiety. Some of which are the following: family history, environmental stressors, a lack of internal or external safety, habits, substances, relationships with others and relationships with self, and our abilities when it comes to regulating our emotions and prioritizing self care.

I always tell clients that we need to approach feelings of anxiety in a holistic way. There are many things that contribute to our mental well-being and taking inventory of these areas can be helpful in improving our mental health.

Skills For Coping With Anxiety

I want to introduce you to six skills for coping with anxiety that can be easily incorporated into your days. Every one of these six coping techniques can be done in just a few minutes and are accessible to anyone, no matter where you are or what resources you have.

1. Box Breathing

Sit comfortably and place one hand on your stomach. Breath in through your nose for 4 seconds and notice your stomach filling with air. Hold the breath for 4 seconds, then release through your mouth while counting to 4. Hold for 4 seconds. Repeat 4 times.

2. Engage In Something That Grounds You In The Present Moment

Look around and notice:

5 things you can see
4 things you can touch
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste

Be as descriptive as possible in your mind for each one of the above. Notice the colours, textures, materials, temperature, etc. This is a simple tool that takes you out of your thoughts and grounds you in the reality of the present moment.

3. Movement

Anxiety creates energy in our bodies. Oftentimes it helps to move & release this energy through some type of movement (e.g. walking, running, jumping, dancing, yoga, boxing, etc.)

4. Brain Dump

Get out a journal or notebook and do a brain dump. Write everything that comes to mind without pausing to read or edit. Do not worry about it “making sense” or being organized, just get everything in your head out on the paper.

Sometimes our subconscious mind is trying to not forget anything and as soon as it’s recorded somewhere external, it settles. I find this one particularly helpful if the stress/anxiety is because you have a lot on your plate.

5. Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Lay down in a comfortable position. Begin by bringing your attention to your feet. Squeeze the muscles in your feet for 3-4 seconds then release and relax them. Repeat this with all parts of the body from the feet up to the face. The cycle of tensing and relaxing is a technique that can actually trigger your brain to relax your body. This one is particularly useful for falling asleep.

6. Affirmations

Sometimes anxiety leads us down a mental pathway that is marked by self-doubt and self-criticism. Try affirming yourself in a supportive and gentle way by repeating the following affirmations or mantras:

I am safe
I will get through this
These feelings will pass
I am breathing
I have skills to cope with this feeling
I will be okay

Tips for coping with stress and anxiety around the holidays

Around the holidays, many people experience an increase in feelings of anxiety. This makes a lot of sense when you consider that for many, the holidays are a loaded emotional time. From the built up anticipation to “make it perfect”, the busy schedules, the financial stressors, the disruption from normal routines and the increased time with extended family (a major stressor for many).

And all of that takes place during the colder months, when many additionally struggle with “the winter blues”.

While time with family can be incredibly cherished and special, it can also mean stepping back into contexts that might be emotionally charged and that you have not yet made peace with or healed from. The anticipation of family closeness and all of the “festive moments” can bring with it deep subconscious pain and shame connected to the time of year. It also can be incredibly overstimulating if you aren’t used to that level of connection in combination with a busy schedule.

All of this plus the above stressors can lead to a swift descent into the “what’s wrong with me?” comparison trap that doesn’t serve anyone.

Here Are Six Ways To Cope With Holiday Stress

1. Identify Your Needs

Consider what it is you are needing this holiday season. The holidays are often a time of the year when we’re thinking of others and our own needs get put on the back burner. Carve out some time to reflect on how you want to feel this season and what is important to you. It’s no one else’s job but your own to care for yourself.

Do you need rest? Connection? Moments of calm amidst the busy? Support? I recommend creating a quiet moment to reflect on this and name your needs.

2. Establish Boundaries That Support Those Needs

After you’ve identified what your needs are, consider what that might look like in relation to others.

If setting boundaries with others feels like a daunting task, check out this post I wrote on How To Set Boundaries With Family for some really helpful tips.

A gentle reminder that you can’t control others behaviors and reactions but you can empower yourself to make the choices you need to make for yourself. Know that it’s okay to disappoint others if you decide to set a boundary, even if they don’t like the boundary you’ve set.

3. Stick With Routines As Much As You Can

One reason that the holidays can leave you feeling so out of sorts, is that all normal routines tend to go out the window. As much as you can, try to prioritize the things that make you feel your best the rest of the year. Some ideas to focus on: daily movement or getting outside, indulging in moderation while prioritizing nutrient dense food the rest of the time, or staying hydrated.

Make a list of the routines that are important to you and then incorporate those into the festivities. While you may be indulging more than usual, the habits that leave you feeling good can also be incorporated. It does not have to be all or nothing.

4. Do a Traditions Inventory

Just because you’ve always done something, doesn’t mean you need to keep doing it. Sometimes we find ourselves doing the same old thing just because it’s familiar. Write down all of the typical holiday traditions and ask yourself “is this still serving me?”

You might be surprised to find that you actually want to stay home on Christmas Day, or that you might not feel that buying a gift for everyone in your extended family feels manageable this year.

While traditions are fun and exciting, they don’t need to be permanent if they’re causing you too much stress.

Social media can be overwhelming and overstimulating, particularly when you’re already feeling maxed out. If you find yourself feeling irritable or envious of others and falling into the comparison trap, it might be a good cue that it’s time to put the phone away.

Remember that social media is the highlight reel. The holidays are hard for many people, they just aren’t posting about that as frequently.

6. Set Realistic Expectations For The Holidays

Although the movies will tell you differently, every moment of December does not need to be magical. Find the middle ground and enjoy the magical moments, but remember that like any other time there are going to be good moments and there are going to be hard moments. Both can exist at the same time.

You can feel excited to see all your family AND you can feel irritated by not enough alone time.

Your kids can love their Christmas gift AND they might have a meltdown because they’re tired.

You can incorporate some favourite family traditions AND you can sit some out that don’t feel doable this year.

Take note of the beautiful moments that leave you feeling grateful and show yourself compassion for the moments that feel heavy or hard.

I hope this post leaves you feeling more equipped to cope with anxiety and the stress of the holiday season.

And again, if you’re interested in having more individual support for this, feel free to book a discovery call with me by clicking the button below. My counselling services are available to Canadian women.